logbook/photo: Photographic films Aurelie and Sarandsch and photographing food

maipenquynh on 16. September 2023

logbook for the categorie Something with Photo for the months July and August 2023. The photos have already been posted elsewhere but today you get a few insights to my head.

Photographed on film

My photos from the film Aurelie arrived in July. It started off a bit dramatically, I had received the following note from the photo lab with my scans:

My subsequent comment to a friend was „Ok / I expect disappointment 😭“
I’ll tell you how it eventually turned out in a separate post on Aurelie then. What I can say already, nevertheless: It’s a fact that I’m still very doubtful of myself and also very doom and gloom/dramatic.

In July, a new film was put in which got the name Sarandsch. In July I took quite a lot of photos with it, in Ulm and also on holiday in Bavaria. Mostly of friends – which means that I will most probably not show them on the blog. Currently, the film still has a few free photo slots and these are being filled very slowly at the moment (technology failed – at least the repaired battery compartment lasted for 28/36 photo slots). Aka right now it’s not clear when the film will be completed (or if it ever will be).

In August, in preparation for my autumn trip, I felt like using a colour film again. I haven’t done that for quite a while. When writing this post draft, I estimated that there were three or four black and white films since my last colour film. In fact, it’s been 7 BW films :O
I considered doing a bit of research on which film to get beforehand …. eventually I just went to a photo shop and bought the cheapest one. The cheapest one was still worth two kebabs! I haven’t had to buy film for a long time because I got films as a present . I had only heard about the horrendous film prices but had not felt them – until recently. Welcome back in the real world! And that’s it for August, and hardly took any analogue photos.

Photographing food

Months ago, a friend and I came up with the idea of starting a project: she likes to cook and I get to try my hand at photography. Since then, I’ve done a bit of research and learning. And of course I can’t avoid trying things out. In July, I tried to take a photo when we were in a Turkish café, here’s a photo:

Actually, I don’t want to talk about it that much because I know it’s still quite amateurish. Nevertheless, it belongs in the logbook because I do something and this is part of the learning process. After all, I tried different arrangements and took several pictures.

In fact, I call it on purpose taking photos of food, because I food photography is too lofty for me and I hardly want to call my amateurish attempts by that. Even if that is the goal in the broadest sense. But the learning process is very slow. Every now and then, and quite sporadically, I look at photos in magazines or on the internet or watch a YouTube video. Or I find other people’s photos on Instagram or blogs quite chic. It’s not much but at least it’s something.

What I have learned: Get nice dishes and cutlery! Actually an easy tip but only then I realised that our everyday tableware is not fancy enough. For the backgrounds and props, I’m relying on what I already have or are easy to buy (tea towels that aren’t too crazy in colour; napkins; other neutral fabrics). In August, I saw a beautiful set of plates in a second-hand shop and bought them. I took a photo with one of the plates (the one with the edamame beans) and my friend commented afterwards that she thought it was a nice plate for photos, too. Thus: It’s a match!

From my life. August 2023

maipenquynh on 3. September 2023

For a very long time, August meant to me: 6 weeks of school summer holidays begin.

The other day, colleagues and I, now in our working lives, asked ourselves what we had actually done in those 6 weeks? Quite clearly: we dallied away the time. But how? We can’t remember and somehow it amused us that we can’t remember how we filled those incredibly long 6 weeks. And what would it be like to have off for such a long time at a stretch today?

My August was the extension of July, with weekends full of plans and enduring and enjoying the heat.

Two days in a row at the lake, with ice cream, reading, snoozing, a bag of sweets from the kiosk, chatting, cooling off in the water and a portion of chips with ketchup and mayo, tasted so much like summer holidays back then.

After more than 3/4 of a year, I finally managed to see Dresden again with all the familiar faces and corners. As in July, when I visited Ulm again, it was somehow strangely alien and pleasant at the same time to visit a place which had been the centre of one’s life for quite a while.

What my mobile phone photos also tell me:

I was at the DIY superstore and thought of a friend. We had talked about wanting to do things by ourselves to close small construction sites in our homes and at the same time we are still hesitant and afraid of doing things wrong. Whenever I stand in the main aisle at the DIY superstore, I always feel overwhelmed and feel lost. But I am stunned by the sheer possibilities, too. So, I’m still interested in getting to know one or another corner better step by step.

I harvested edamame beans and froze them. And while we’re talking of food and drinks: We went to a café at the end of the workday and started into the early evening with cake and cold drinks. By now, I feel more serene. Beautiful August.

How was your August? And do you remember how you filled your summer holidays?

I feel something that you don’t see

maipenquynh on 11. June 2023

Who would have thought that AI would also make it onto my blog and that I would be able to jump on the bandwagon just in time? (or I missed that I missed it)

The other day, as I was looking at, analysing and evaluating the results of my latest photo shoot when this thought occurred to me: AI could take better photos than me. etter in sense of: AI could probably create photos that would make people nod in impression and comment with „Wow, that’s really a amazing picture!“. If I handed my photos to these people, my best photo might get an honest but not particularly impressed „Yeah, it looks pretty good.“ But it just wouldn’t leave the impression that the other brilliant AI picture did.

 

A special feeling called self-efficacy

At that moment, however, I also realised: So what? Because at that very moment, a special and strong feeling strucked me: the feeling of self-efficacy.

The feeling of holding a product in my hands where I know: This picture looks like this because I have made certain decisions. Decisions based on knowledge and gut feeling over the years, and also a large portion of trying things and letting coincidence lay a hand on it. A bundle of decisions.

Starting with the technical equipment (camera, lens, film), to deciding on the motif (subject, framing, use of light) and ending with the settings on the camera to finally capture the subject (aperture, shutter speed, image focus).

While the first two points no longer cause headaches and insecurities, I notice that I’m still quite young when it comes to the camera settings and thereby the photographic paintbrush if you say so. Most of the time it’s trial and error and knowing that I don’t know much. So I’m really super-mega-very happy when the pictures turn out well.

There is so much behind each picture: my thoughts of the moment; what I knew and what not at that time. So many feelings and thoughts that accompany a picture until it is in front of me.

 

I see something that you don’t see (*)

As an outsider, you don’t see these feelings and thoughts on the product, this one photo. From this one photo, you can’t tell where I was standing two years ago and that I didn’t dare to leave the camera’s automatic mode. From this one photo, you can’t tell that I lost many photos to poor contrast and too little light. From this one photo, you can’t see the whole learning process. You know what I want to tell.

It’s a pity that no one who hasn’t gone the same way can see this way as well and acknowledge it accordingly, but that’s only natural. But what remains for me and for you is this feeling of self-efficacy.

This feeling of being capable is priceless and cannot be replaced by anything.

And importantly, once I feel it, no one actually can take it away from me anymore.

 

 

Eventually, it’s not about the AI. It could have been another person taking that other brilliant photo. It’s about me taking photos for self-awareness, for the feeling of knowing and being able to do a bit more today than yesterday. If I want to do more of interpretation, it’s about how I realise that I am and live.

And that, dear people, were my two cents on the subject of AI and my three pennies on the subject of self-efficacy.

Have you ever noticed your self-efficacy and if so, what situations do you think of?

 

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Disclaimer: This is my description of self-efficacy or a situation where I experienced it – if you want to learn more about it, your trusted search engine will help you. (*) Literal translation. This is a kids‘ game, the english analogue game is apparently „I spy, with my little eye“

Camera + lens: Minolta 9000 AF + Minolta AF 100mm Macro f2.8
Film: Rollei RPX 100
Development + scan: Charlie Engel Lab 2.0