I feel something that you don’t see

Mai Quynh on 11. June 2023

Who would have thought that AI would also make it onto my blog and that I would be able to jump on the bandwagon just in time? (or I missed that I missed it)

The other day, as I was looking at, analysing and evaluating the results of my latest photo shoot when this thought occurred to me: AI could take better photos than me. etter in sense of: AI could probably create photos that would make people nod in impression and comment with „Wow, that’s really a amazing picture!“. If I handed my photos to these people, my best photo might get an honest but not particularly impressed „Yeah, it looks pretty good.“ But it just wouldn’t leave the impression that the other brilliant AI picture did.

 

A special feeling called self-efficacy

At that moment, however, I also realised: So what? Because at that very moment, a special and strong feeling strucked me: the feeling of self-efficacy.

The feeling of holding a product in my hands where I know: This picture looks like this because I have made certain decisions. Decisions based on knowledge and gut feeling over the years, and also a large portion of trying things and letting coincidence lay a hand on it. A bundle of decisions.

Starting with the technical equipment (camera, lens, film), to deciding on the motif (subject, framing, use of light) and ending with the settings on the camera to finally capture the subject (aperture, shutter speed, image focus).

While the first two points no longer cause headaches and insecurities, I notice that I’m still quite young when it comes to the camera settings and thereby the photographic paintbrush if you say so. Most of the time it’s trial and error and knowing that I don’t know much. So I’m really super-mega-very happy when the pictures turn out well.

There is so much behind each picture: my thoughts of the moment; what I knew and what not at that time. So many feelings and thoughts that accompany a picture until it is in front of me.

 

I see something that you don’t see (*)

As an outsider, you don’t see these feelings and thoughts on the product, this one photo. From this one photo, you can’t tell where I was standing two years ago and that I didn’t dare to leave the camera’s automatic mode. From this one photo, you can’t tell that I lost many photos to poor contrast and too little light. From this one photo, you can’t see the whole learning process. You know what I want to tell.

It’s a pity that no one who hasn’t gone the same way can see this way as well and acknowledge it accordingly, but that’s only natural. But what remains for me and for you is this feeling of self-efficacy.

This feeling of being capable is priceless and cannot be replaced by anything.

And importantly, once I feel it, no one actually can take it away from me anymore.

 

 

Eventually, it’s not about the AI. It could have been another person taking that other brilliant photo. It’s about me taking photos for self-awareness, for the feeling of knowing and being able to do a bit more today than yesterday. If I want to do more of interpretation, it’s about how I realise that I am and live.

And that, dear people, were my two cents on the subject of AI and my three pennies on the subject of self-efficacy.

Have you ever noticed your self-efficacy and if so, what situations do you think of?

 

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Disclaimer: This is my description of self-efficacy or a situation where I experienced it – if you want to learn more about it, your trusted search engine will help you. (*) Literal translation. This is a kids‘ game, the english analogue game is apparently „I spy, with my little eye“

Camera + lens: Minolta 9000 AF + Minolta AF 100mm Macro f2.8
Film: Rollei RPX 100
Development + scan: Charlie Engel Lab 2.0

May 2023

Mai Quynh on 8. June 2023

Bad news: Soon it will be the longest day of the year and then we will be closer to the next Christmas than the last. Good news: summer has just begun. Summer with its hot-warm temperatures annoys me at some point, too, but I’m still very happy to get the light and warmth.

A lot of free days

But now let’s talk about May. The fifth month with its many long weekends lud zu vielem ein. Meine langen Wochenenden, aber auch die restlichen Maitage, waren gespickt mit Menschen treffen, unterwegs sein und miteinander Zeit verbringen. Die hessische Landeshauptstadt Wiesbaden habe ich erstmalig besucht und in Hamburg tanzten wir bis tief in die Nacht. Freund:innen  habe ich im neuen Zuhause willkommen geheißen.

The vines in this region are happily greening up and I have already discovered the first fruits. But I wonder when the plants exploded. The vines were only branches not too long ago?

Besides a little bike ride between the vines and the river, in May I also learned why every few row of vines has a rose planted in front of it: roses serve as an early warning system since they need similar conditions to vines but are more susceptible. If the rose is doing badly then you still have some time to react for the vines, so to speak.

Something with Photo

My battery compartment is intact, again so I was able to get the film completed in May after all *yeah*. In the end, most importantly I wanted to get the film full, so I didn’t want to wait for the subjects to come to me. But finding motifs ad hoc is not yet my strength. I photographed a gummi bear box and my scrunchy; while the gummi bears seem very random, my scrunchy was quite interesting. I was particularly excited about the portrait photos I took of my friends.

I sent off the film and got the scans within a week (I was so happy that the owner of the photo lab had developed and scanned the film before he went on holiday!). I was quite content with the portrait photos, hihi. But I haven’t yet decided (and accordingly haven’t asked) whether I want to show them on the blog.

The next film is already in and I will definitely continue with portrait photos. I’m also thinking about giving my films names so I can tell them apart (haha).

Scanner focus

The dino was finished on time and the friend who the present was for was very happy, which in turn made me very happy. I even got the next order but I have to recover from all the small parts of the dino first (e.g., prongs and such).

There was one spontaneous, intense sock-darning-day (again, I want to give the projects names for identification!) but that’s it, nothing more.

At the end of the month, I was very interested in another topic: Making my own elderflower syrup!I started putting the flowers in the water in May but bottling didn’t happen in June. Therefore: Stay tuned!

Schrammsteine | Between pixel and grain

Mai Quynh on 24. May 2023

„Schrammsteine“, that’s a rock formation in Saxon Switzerland (a national park). Not far from where I used to live. As often is the case when you live in a place and the beautiful thing is only a stone’s throw away, you postpone visiting this beauties until later. Until later suddenly means „goodbye“ and beauty is at least 10 stone’s throw away. And so I am writing this text with some kind of nostalgia.

Most probably I remember the name of this rock formation because I took a photo of it. I was very excited about the picture – more excited than I usually am anyways – because this was the first film I developed by myself. I can’t describe it very well but I’ll put it this way: How happyyyyy I was when I hung the developed film up to dry and then discovered „die kleinen Schrammsteine“ on the negative. Joy oh joy!

And even if the photo itself is okay and the motif is not special, the photo is a nice reminder of „I was here!“ And also of those days when I called Dresden my home and Saxon Switzerland was just a stone’s throw away.

Camera + lens: Olympus XA2
Film: Agfaphoto APX 100 (probably; my film is still in the photo lab for scanning)
Developement: self developped (2022#1)
Scan: Charlie Engel Lab 2.0