July 2023 | Lovely, packed July

I am exhausted from a packed July. It was a lovely July, with many great events that I looked forward to and enjoyed. But at the same time, time for myself vanished and I need a bit of that – time to myself. Since end of July, when my short holiday with friends in Bavaria ended and since I’m back, I haven’t really found (or only very slowly) my way back into everyday life. And I have so many plans. Thus, I am very restless.

But now I’d rather turn to lovely July and show a little appreciation and joy for what has been.

Summer was celebrated in July: I went to a garden party and the work’s summer party. People put in a lot of work to make it a good party and it was relaxed hours of eating, drinking, laughing and great conversations with people.

When I was in Bavaria, I took advantage of the Deutschlandticket to visit my former study town Ulm. Feelings of nostalgia and memories came up. We strolled through old places and enjoyed the summer day.

July is also the month I started jogging. But only because I’m preparing for a 5 km run (which I volunteered for haha). I ran my first laps along the field not far from us. I finally realised that it really does make a difference to run outside close to nature compared to running in a gym 😀

Last but not least, July also meant to me: start preparing for the autumn holiday. I’m really looking forward to it and I don’t think I’ve ever put so much thought into a holiday before (clarification: I’m not a good travel planner either). But work has just begun, so let’s see if the anticipation lasts he he. Where will we head to? Hint: the country has amazing autumn leaves!

June 2023 | study logbook. Being a scanner

I was recently reminded by the blog post „Wie erstelle ich einen Handarbeitsblog?" (DeepL translated: how to create a handicraft blog) from the german blog verdrehtemasche.de that I also wanted to share my insights from failures – lessons learned so to speak. To do that, I need a bit more space for words and text, so I’m splitting the monthly review for June to have a try. And then I will see if/how that works. Today’s review will cover the more general / the „Being a scanner“ part; the „Something with photo“ will come separately.

Concert, workshop on how to read out loud, adult education courses

I was at a concert and it was a seated one- which ended up being fine for the artist and his music as the songs were played to piano music and a surprising string quartet (oh, so nice!). But for the previous supporting/opening band it didn’t fit at all as it was very (!) danceable music and just swaying your shoulders isn’t even half the fun. I can imagine that it’s a bit sad for the supporting band when people can’t/won’t dance along at all.

Quite spontaneously I took part in a workshop with the topic „Lust an Büchern wecken" (DeepL translated: „Awakening desire for books“) – it was about how to make books palatable to small children (nursery age). It was very interesting and I learned a lot! Let’s see how and when I can apply it.

My adult education classes came to an end and I have to look elsewhere to bridge the summer break. One course was a language class and I want to keep up the language skills at least into this year’s autumn (planned travel). The second course was a bit of exercise to counteract all the sitting. My weaker self is very strong but sitting a lot remains and I should overcome it. Hopefully I will be motivated to do something in July :‘)

Elderberry syrup

The elderberry syrup which I have set up in May- is ready! The recipe (german) according which I prepared the syrup is this one . Sterilising the bottles was a bit tinkery but making the syrup itself is quite easy. It’s quite good and I like Elderberry syrup most as a spritzer. I offered the syrup also to my colleagues and I think they liked it as well and they enjoy it on the one or other hot summer day. I still remember my colleague’s comment when he smelled the glass for the first time: „It smells like summer“ – isn’t that a wonderful comment?

Darning

At the beginning of the month I did a „darning workshop“ with someone who was interested in darning. Her socks had holes and so we sat down together. She sat down with her socks and I did with my equipment (darning yarn, needles, darning egg) and then I explained the darning technique to her. I used one of my own socks to darn and eventually it made it back to life: Abby. Abby had two small holes but since they were so close to each other, I darned them in one go.

It had been a while since I had used the weave darning method and I didn’t know exactly how to anchor the thread at the end. Abby was darned in two colours, classic black and white, thus the darning looks like a chessboard. The second sock, Ally, continues to be holey since I didn’t find the motivation to work on her after the „workshop“ evening haha.

Showing/teaching someone else is always a small challenge. But it worked out and the „workshop“ was successful, eventually she was able to bring three socks back to life! Half jokingly and half seriously, I wonder if I could set up something real in these regards?

Other handicrafts

At the moment there’s nothing much concerning other handicrafts. Even though I felt like crocheting more animals after I did the dino , nothing has grabbed me. And knitting - nada. I’ve often heard that knitting is more of a winter hobby, and maybe that’s just the way it is with me this year. In contrast, I’m thinking of trying embroidery again. Aren’t shirts with such small prints or embroidery on a chest trendy these days? It’s not that easy to find such things so I thought about making them myself and gifting them to interested people.

Apart from the realisation that nothing happened here, I have nothing to share. I don’t know how useful it is to write that down then.

~

In case your wondering why I’m done with my monthly review so early: Thanks to my holiday week I was able to collect my thoughts earlier this time 😀

I feel something that you don’t see

Who would have thought that AI would also make it onto my blog and that I would be able to jump on the bandwagon just in time? (or I missed that I missed it)

The other day, as I was looking at, analysing and evaluating the results of my latest photo shoot when this thought occurred to me: AI could take better photos than me. etter in sense of: AI could probably create photos that would make people nod in impression and comment with „Wow, that’s really a amazing picture!“. If I handed my photos to these people, my best photo might get an honest but not particularly impressed „Yeah, it looks pretty good.“ But it just wouldn’t leave the impression that the other brilliant AI picture did.

 

A special feeling called self-efficacy

At that moment, however, I also realised: So what? Because at that very moment, a special and strong feeling strucked me: the feeling of self-efficacy.

The feeling of holding a product in my hands where I know: This picture looks like this because I have made certain decisions. Decisions based on knowledge and gut feeling over the years, and also a large portion of trying things and letting coincidence lay a hand on it. A bundle of decisions.

Starting with the technical equipment (camera, lens, film), to deciding on the motif (subject, framing, use of light) and ending with the settings on the camera to finally capture the subject (aperture, shutter speed, image focus).

While the first two points no longer cause headaches and insecurities, I notice that I’m still quite young when it comes to the camera settings and thereby the photographic paintbrush if you say so. Most of the time it’s trial and error and knowing that I don’t know much. So I’m really super-mega-very happy when the pictures turn out well.

There is so much behind each picture: my thoughts of the moment; what I knew and what not at that time. So many feelings and thoughts that accompany a picture until it is in front of me.

 

I see something that you don’t see (*)

As an outsider, you don’t see these feelings and thoughts on the product, this one photo. From this one photo, you can’t tell where I was standing two years ago and that I didn’t dare to leave the camera’s automatic mode. From this one photo, you can’t tell that I lost many photos to poor contrast and too little light. From this one photo, you can’t see the whole learning process. You know what I want to tell.

It’s a pity that no one who hasn’t gone the same way can see this way as well and acknowledge it accordingly, but that’s only natural. But what remains for me and for you is this feeling of self-efficacy.

This feeling of being capable is priceless and cannot be replaced by anything.

And importantly, once I feel it, no one actually can take it away from me anymore.

 

 

Eventually, it’s not about the AI. It could have been another person taking that other brilliant photo. It’s about me taking photos for self-awareness, for the feeling of knowing and being able to do a bit more today than yesterday. If I want to do more of interpretation, it’s about how I realise that I am and live.

And that, dear people, were my two cents on the subject of AI and my three pennies on the subject of self-efficacy.

Have you ever noticed your self-efficacy and if so, what situations do you think of?

 

Disclaimer: This is my description of self-efficacy or a situation where I experienced it – if you want to learn more about it, your trusted search engine will help you. (*) Literal translation. This is a kids‘ game, the english analogue game is apparently „I spy, with my little eye“


Camera + lens: Minolta 9000 AF + Minolta AF 100mm Macro f2.8
Film: Rollei RPX 100
Development + scan: Charlie Engel Lab 2.0